


Absolution

by Dragestil



Series: We are Broken, We are Whole [5]
Category: The Yogscast
Genre: Fallen Angel Shit, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Religious Guilt, Self-Harm, Self-Mutilation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-06
Updated: 2015-08-06
Packaged: 2018-04-13 09:08:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4516074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dragestil/pseuds/Dragestil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What do you do when you cannot truly atone for your sins? (Last(?) of "We Are Broken, We Are Whole" series)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Absolution

“Tom?”

The angel was on his feet in a heartbeat. He knew that voice, had heard it haunting him for weeks. But it was real now. Its owner stood in the doorway of the frigid penthouse, still in a state of disarray and disrepair. Tom raced forward, but Sam took a step back, putting his hands up defensively.

“You’re alive!” Tom said, and he could not hide the mixture of disbelief and delight from his face.

“Trott and Ross aren’t.”

The words hit harder than any physical blow, and the angel reeled backward, catching himself with a hand braced on the table. None of this was to plan. He couldn’t deny the pained accusation in Sam’s eyes though.

“I did it for you,” he began, voice soft and hesitant.

“Don’t say that! Just,” Sam gave off waves of static with ever word, and the appliances in the kitchen whirred angrily, “don’t say anything like that. They were my friends!”

Tom winced and turned his cheek as if he had been smacked. He cast his eyes to the ground and felt distinctly like everyone he had ever threatened. Despite finally having another being in the penthouse, he felt painfully alone.

“They got you in trouble. They got you taken away from me. I couldn’t let that happen. I couldn’t lose you, Sam!” Tom answered, only realising he had begun to shout when his voice cracked.

“Why did you kill them?” Sam asked, and the room suddenly went quiet as the electricity was drained from everything all at once.

“I thought- I thought they hurt you. Anyone who hurts you has to pay.”

“Then why didn’t you kill Smiffy?”

“I wanted…”

“What? What did you want?”

“I wanted him to suffer like me.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“If I lost you, if you were gone and I had to spend the rest of this eternity alone again, he needed to be alone too.”

“I don’t understand, Tom.”

“I’m sorry, Sam. I didn’t know you were still alive. If I had known, I never would have-”

“Would have murdered our friends?”

“Please,” Tom said, reaching toward the android, “I lost my temper.”

“And now they are gone for good. What will happen the next time your temper gets lost?”

The angel turned away from Sam. He knew better than to think there was a correct answer. He clung to a desperate hope though as he remembered his time spent in Heaven. He cast a desperate glance back to his only companion.

“Let me atone for my sins. Tell me my penance, and I shall do as you command.”

“You can’t bring them back.”

“No, but I need you to know that I am sorry. Please, tell me how to prove myself.”

“You can’t fix this.”

“Please!”

Tom was on his knees, hands clasped tightly together and head thrown back. Above, it had been so easy to receive pardon. You spoke your transgressions aloud and completed penitential rites, accepting whatever reparations were asked of you. He knew that the concept would be foreign to Sam, yet it was his last hope. Already he felt the burning guilt of his actions consuming him from within.

“Forgive me, Sam, for I have sinned. In the sights of men and gods, I have committed unspeakable crimes. I have taken life and freedom. I have sought to inflict pain upon others. I have acted rashly in the name of-” he cut himself off, choking on the phrase. “I have acted rashly in the name of my love for you. I have brought shame upon all those who choose to associate with me. And worst, I have hurt you, the only being to care for me. These sins I confess with you as my witness. Accept my penitence that I may become clean.”

Tom stood slowly on shaking legs. His wings unfurled behind him as his fiery sword appeared in his unsettlingly steady grasp. He stared beyond Sam into nothingness, and brought the blade up behind his back. The flames licked his threadbare shirt and neat feathers, but he did not flinch.

“I cannot give them back their lives, or take my grace from Smith, but I will give them all what they sought before the end. Blood for blood.”

“Tom, no more-”

Sam was cut off by thunder so loud it shook the walls and echoed in Tom’s anguished bellowing. With a deft upswing, his wings were shorn from his shoulders, leaving scorch marks across the flesh. They fell as ashes, quickly disappearing entirely, though the smell of burning lingered. The angel dropped his sword as he focused his gaze back on the android.

“I am sorry,” he breathed before collapsing to the floor.

The android hesitated for a moment until he couldn’t hold back any longer. He rushed to the fallen angel’s side and pulled the larger man’s torso up against his chest. He tried not to touch the area where once there were wings.

“No more violence, Tom, please. Hasn’t there been enough of that already?” Sam asked, stroking Tom’s cheek slowly. “What am I meant to do with you?”

“Absolve me of my sins.”

“That isn’t my place,” the android sighed. “I cannot take away the burden of what you’ve done. It wasn’t against me that you transgressed anyway. If you really seek forgiveness, you’ll need to find Smiffy.”

“I can’t.”

“You must.”

“Will you stay with me then?”

“I must. Who else will save you?”

“Sam, I-”

“No. No more today. Get your rest. When you wake up, we are going to find him, and you are going to tell him what you told me.”

“What if he won’t listen?”

“Then you will have to learn to live as humans do - beneath the weight of what they have done.”


End file.
